Johnny Spoiler Revisits Beastmaster 2: The Only Fun Beastmaster Movie

Exploring 1991’s cult fantasy sequel where sword & sorcery collide with 90s Los Angeles, cable-TV chaos, and unforgettable B-movie magic.

Some movies feel like accidents. Others feel like dares. Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (1991) feels like someone lost a bet, doubled down, and accidentally created a cable-TV legend.

If the original Beastmaster was sweaty, grim, and trying very hard to be taken seriously, Beastmaster 2 looks at all that and says: What if we put the barbarian in Los Angeles and let the 90s do the rest?

And somehow—against all logic—it works.

The Cable-TV Effect

There are movies that became classics because critics loved them. There are movies that became classics because audiences showed up. And then there are movies that became classics because TBS played them every single day.

Beastmaster 2 belongs firmly in that third category.

This movie was on cable so often that people genuinely associate it with the channel itself. It wasn’t prestige viewing—it was comfort viewing. You didn’t sit down to watch it; you fell into it, usually halfway through, while flipping channels at night. And that’s exactly why it endured.

Sword & Sorcery Meets 90s L.A.

The premise is simple and completely unhinged:

Dar the Beastmaster—who can communicate with animals—must chase his evil brother through a glowing portal that dumps everyone into modern-day Los Angeles. Not the future. Not the past. Just… 1991.

Now suddenly we have:

  • Barbarians dodging traffic

  • Fantasy villains learning about guns

  • An atomic bomb as the ultimate MacGuffin

  • A police detective who did not sign up for this

It’s a fantasy sequel that quietly morphs into a fish-out-of-water crime comedy, and that tonal shift is why the movie is fun instead of exhausting.

The Portal That Isn’t Time Travel

Despite the subtitle, Through the Portal of Time is not actually about time travel. It’s about hopping into a parallel universe where Earth just happens to look exactly like 1991 America.

Does the movie explain this clearly? No.
Does it matter? Also no.

This is VHS-era storytelling. The logic exists just long enough to launch the next scene, then politely leaves the room.

The Animals (Or Lack Thereof)

One of the most surprising things about Beastmaster 2 is how little it actually uses its animals.

The ferrets—Kodo and Podo—were essential in the first film. Entire plot turns depended on them. By comparison, they’re almost an afterthought here, while the bird gets most of the spotlight.

Continuity-wise, one of the ferrets definitely died in the original movie, yet both are back. The most generous explanation is that Dar named the baby ferret Kodo Jr., and the movie just chose peace over answers.

Honestly? Correct choice.

B-Movie Royalty on Display

Part of what elevates Beastmaster 2 is its cast, which reads like a hall of fame for genre fans:

  • Marc Singer fully comfortable owning this role

  • Wings Hauser, delivering a villain with real mood swings and menace

  • James Avery, as the overworked L.A. detective archetype perfected in the 80s and 90s

  • Sara Douglas, bringing legit fantasy-villain gravitas from Superman II and Conan the Destroyer

  • Kari Wuhrer, peak 90s genre energy, connecting this movie to Sliders, Hellraiser, and beyond

These actors understand exactly what movie they’re in—and that awareness keeps everything watchable.

Why This One Works

Here’s the secret:

Beastmaster 2 doesn’t try to be important.

It’s lighter, shorter, more comedic, and far more accessible than the original. It tones down the violence, leans into jokes, and aims squarely at replay value, not myth-making.

This is why it became a family-friendly cable staple while the other entries faded out.

Johnny Spoiler Verdict

If you’re looking for epic fantasy, this isn’t it.

If you’re looking for pure fun, 90s chaos, and a movie that understands exactly why people are watching—it absolutely is.

Beastmaster 2 lives in that perfect sweet spot:

  • Not too long

  • Easy to follow

  • Weird enough to remember

  • Familiar enough to rewatch

This isn’t a guilty pleasure. It’s a cable-era classic that knew its assignment.

Verdict: Binge now.

1980s movies, animals, B movies, blog, Classics, fantasy movies, fantasy, PodcastsBob E. LoggerComment